ارجعي يا هيك الأيام ..
Friday, April 10, 2015 | | 0 Comments
رقصتي وسط السحاب ..
Thursday, April 09, 2015 | | 1 Comments
خسرت حلماً جميلاً .. وما خسرت السبيلا ..
I had a plan for us .. a picture of a beautiful house .. that smelled like freshly baked vanilla cookies and cinnamon rolls from the inside and surrounded by beds of tiger lilies from the outside .. we had a small garden .. where we planted so many flowers .. trees and even raspberries ourselves.. and watched them grow everyday ..
We had two swings .. one was for me to ride with you at my back .. like you always do .. to catch me just in time .. and let me go .. you had a thing with timing ..and one .. was a sofa swing .. in which we sat .. and had our deepest conversations .. and silent endearments ..
Oh and the kids .. they had the best of us .. they had your kind eyes .. and noble heart .. they had my hair and my mischief .. we also had our own small garage built in our house .. in which we used to secretly sneak in late at night .. play our favourite movie on the garage wall and watch it from the front seats of our car , like our own cinema ..
We had all the time in the word .. we had times where I make you sit and listen to that new song I've been practising playing on my violin..
We always danced .. cheek to cheek .. hand in hand.. and breath to breath .. to the songs of Ella Fitzgerald , Louis Armstrong and Sir Frank Sinatra ..
There were so many nights that we were tired .. exhausted and all worn out .. but still we had time to listen to each other .. lean on each other .. understand each other .. support each other .. cheer each other up and be cheerleaders for one another .. and be merciful to each other ..
We travelled the world .. we walked through the streets of Rome .. threw coins at fountain Trevi .. and took a gondola in Venice .. and strolled in Florence .. all the way to Santorini .. ate chocolates in Vienna .. had amazing seafood in Prague .. hugged all cherry blossom trees in Japan .. snorkelled in the Maldives ..river rafted in Switzerland .. and the list goes on forever ..
We had every intent to make each other happy .. to fill our lives with love .. understanding .. respect and trust .. and we did defy the society's standards .. definitions , legacy and ideology of marriage .. by setting our own example ..
We had so many wonderful things .. but the most important treasure and blessing of all we had .. was our hearts .. my heart squeezed into your chest .. right beside your heart .. so that you had two heartbeats .. two lifetime supplies .. two of everything .. that eventually .. as we grow old and grey became one .. and that no matter how old we get .. and no matter
what life throws our way .. you still look at me with your dreamy brown eyes ..and see right through me .. see the young foolish and beautiful girl that you once loved.. who has witnessed all of you ..with all of your flaws .. shortcomings before your good traits.. and loved you still ..
But I did not get the chance .. I never did .. I don't know if life was too big for us .. and we did bit more than we can chew .. I don't know if it's bad timing .. or it's that we were not right for each other or that if our sins were too many that we were being punished for them somehow.. or that we did not know any better .. or that our fears .. and demons outnumbered us or was it that it was all too much to handle.. I really haven't figured that out yet .
What I do know is .. as poet Mahmoud Darwish perfectly describes it :خسرت حلماً جميلاً .. وما خسرت السبيلا ..
Saturday, March 28, 2015 | | 3 Comments
Cotton Candy ..
I’ve had this habit since I was little of staring at the clouds for long hours .. I loved how they were shaped into bunnies and pets .. and how they sketched anything that can cross my mind into one shape and transform into another everytime I looked up at them … they were puffy … and pure.. and I could never resist the urge to reach out and touch them .. I loved how the sunlight tries to penetrate them with its beautiful rays .. I love how they sometimes make the sky seem as if it has been brushed .. and how they along with , the brilliant colors of the sun and the sky at sunset form a breath taking piece of art .. It used to take me away for along time .. and never was there a dull moment ..
I remember one time I was flying and I looked out the window and saw an amazing set of very thick cotton-candy like clouds .. it was right there next to me.. a window apart , and all I can think of was : “Wow if I can only get out that plane and walk on that cloud .. and maybe dance no , hop from one cloud to another .. and if I can grab a handful of this one right there .. and place it on my lips and see what it tastes like .. does it taste like morning due or is it like cotton candy .. is it like whipping cream .. or does it taste like the rain .Friday, February 05, 2010 | | 3 Comments
The very first trace of my smile ..
I used to climb with my boy cousins our gigantic fig tree to collect the really good ones for desert , and I remember that I was fearless .. I used to race my cousins to the top of the tree .. and no insect , bird .. nothing could stop me from going up above ..
I remember we used to sleep in one villa with our family and play in the other villa - which was used for storage mostly- our fortress .. it used to have this circular green unreachable bedroom window shields, me along with my sister and cousins , we used to misbehave a lot of times so that our mums would lock us in the bedroom for punishment .. and then we pretend that we were princes and princesses locked up in a dungeon and we climb our way to the window , using pillows to lift us up and bed sheets to help us climb our way down the window and off to the play ground ..
My favorite part of our fortress was the swings my grandpa installed for us , this was the happiest time of my life.. I used to start at a small pace , push my legs up in the sky .. increase the speed until I reach this part of the ride where my heart stops beating .. and I hold my breath preparing myself for the scary part where I might fall .. I open my eyes and look at the ground way under my feet , clinging to the thick ropes that hold the swing , thinking that if I hold them firmly I would control the speed of the swing and stop it .. but then this funny feeling inside me encourages me to let go of that firm grip and surrender to the swing .. down I go then up again with the same speed .. every time I push my legs harder the one before it, so that I can go higher in the sky and feel the blood rushing to my face .. my eyes are wide open to the very blue sky .. strandles of my hair playfully whips my face .. my legs are hanging out of the swing .. and up in the sky I go .. with the biggest smile on my face that the funny feeling I had inside me to let go .. did not let me down .. and did not let me fall ..
Friday, January 08, 2010 | | 2 Comments
Off on Journey to the past..
Been a while now since I last laughed from the heart .. I’ve acquired this fake yellowish smile from a lot of people around me.. the smile that you draw upon your face when you say “ Good morning ” to your boss and you’re thinking ..bloodsucking bastard !! , the smile you give to people you don’t even like and say have a nice day when you’re not really wishing them a nice day .. and the same smile you give to everyone asking how are you doing ..and you say I’m FINE , when fine really means : Freaked out , Insecure, Neurotic and emotional .. knowing that they won’t stick around to hear the answer .. so you spare yourself the explanation .. and spare them the extra time they have to spend showing empathy..
So yeah.. that hypocrite smile people refer to nowadays as social intelligence , that I need to wipe off my face.. I need to get my oh so beautiful smile back.. look for it .. and fight , time , the oh so clever enemy who has slipped it away from me.. and fight the world if I have to ..
And that needs a journey to the past.. a journey back in time .. to find out what really happened to my smile.. and not only come back with it.. but also come back with a lifetime supply ..
Wish Me Luck , Strength and sense of humor .. Reemus , A.Z
Thursday, October 08, 2009 | | 6 Comments
This I promise you ..
This I promise you ..
I promise that I’ll take good care of your heart ..
I promise that I’ll cut out mine and give it to you as a spare..
I promise that I’ll be your cheerleader and witness to life..
I promise that I’ll be a fool for you .. and I’ll be your clown whenever ur down..I’ll sing.. danse.. jump.. whatever it takes..
I promise that I’ll put you and your needs before myself..
I promise I’ll be your home.. your shelter and in my arms you’ll find you haven..
I promise that I’ll be there for you now.. when you wake up in the morning .. forever and the life after..
I promise you that whenever when life gets crazy.. we’ll go crazier..
I promise that I’ll love you with every beat of my heart..
And I promise that I’m gonna danse with you until our lives come to end ..
This is the vow that I took upon myself..and I promise to keep .. honor and cherish..
Friday, September 25, 2009 | | 4 Comments
